My Body Is My Buddy

And I thank you, buddy, for that!

I'm going through this transition time in my life: leaving a secure 9-5 job for the uncertainties and freedom of a freelance career.

The choice came up triggered by several factors:

1. I didn't like my job anymore.
2. The salary I earned with it was not longer enough.
3. I wanted to experience passion for my job.
4. The things that wake my passion were not those I was doing as an employee.

From August 6th on, when I told my boss I was quitting, I became very nervous, anxious and stressed. Again, several factors influenced me:

1. My boss started behaving awkward with me.
2. In my need to do everything perfect, I wanted to find the perfect replacement for my position and leave everything in perfect order for her.
3. I was working 12 to 15 hours a day in the attempt to do both my 9-5 job and the editing assignments I'm receiving.

So, my tension increased and increased and I was literally out of myself. I was not aligned anymore, I stopped meditating and stopped practising drums too.

Guess what? Last week I started feeling dizzy, which later became a feeling of important vertigo and everything started moving around... even if I was still and things like the floor and walls don't often move in my country...

Finally on Tuesday I had to stop. I couldn't go to my job and I couldn't watch the screen without feeling nauseas, therefore, couldn't do any editing job either. I spent much time seeing doctors who didn't give me any definite diagnosis but they sent me to rest for 5 days.Today is Thursday and as I write this, the screen moves sideways and the wooden floor is still floating under my feet. But I really wanted to write about this, because I think it's awesome.

You must think I'm a wacko. What is so awesome about it? Well, the confirmation that my body is my buddy, as your body is your buddy.

After meditating today and chatting with my body he clearly told me: "you wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't taken action" and "you were going down a dangerous road asking so much from ourselves".

It is so true!

The lesson I hope to learn is this: When you feel you have to stop, STOP. No matter what, no matter who. Because if you don't your buddy will make you stop and the ways he usually finds are painful and troublesome. So, what's the use of making him stop us if we can stop a little bit earlier without hurting consequences?

Of course... my boss wouldn't have liked it if I had told her I was not going to work because I needed to stop. But... as I'm leaving anyway, what is the big deal? None! However, I still couldn't do it and I pushed my body to make me feel bad so I could stop without guilt.

A side effect of the pain and my having stopped has been AMAZING. By having time, by not being able to do much, I was able to take a different look at my present situation and realize what an awesome moment I am in right now! I am only 10 days away from becoming independent. I am only 10 days away from doing with my days exactly what I want to do with them!

Are you curious what I want to do with my days? :))) you can always stop reading! ;)

I'm already enjoying my weekdays like this:

As soon as Pedro leaves to school, I'll go to take a 1-hour walk by the rambla. That is a magical place we have in Montevideo, by the seaside (see picture above). Then, I'll take a shower and sit down to do my editing work. Then I'll pick Pedro up at school, come home and practise drums. Then I'll meditate and read.

Also, I'll have the freedom to enjoy special dates with Pedro, like his & my birthday, for example. And we'll be able to go to the beach every day during summer!

I am so excited about all this... and it's just around the corner!

Thanks for sharing my excitement and the lessons I'm learning right now. I promise to keep you posted.

All the best,
Patricia